Wedding Bells....Wedding Bells

I am getting married. That's right. Taking the plunge, Tying the knot, Diving head first into a big bowl of blissful togetherness. And oh yes...I am one of those girls-the ones who spent countless days dancing around in my mother's wedding gown and her over-sized heels to the tune of "Going to the Chapel" by the Dixie Cups. I had a plan. I had a bride and groom lined up perfectly on my big white wedding cake. From start to finish it was all completely perfect. But now almost 20 years later, I find myself slowly drowning in a sea of wedding bells and champagne flutes with nothing to hold onto but a collapsible string of hot pink pop-up lanterns. Could it be that in the last nine years since I met my husband-to-be that I somehow learned love was more about being together and less about lace and diamonds? Where is that girl? The one who smiled so proudly as she twirled with her bouquet. Oh how I wish she would come help me make some decisions. I spoke with my mother last night, her ever wise words instructing me to take a few days off from planning. I know she is right and as I finish up these words, I will quietly retreat to a place of bliss, free from all of the decisions that need to be made. I will hold the hand of the boy I love and remember why this day is happening. Perhaps after a little rest, I will find that girl peeking out at me from behind the ivory and the pearls and maybe, just maybe, she will help guide me through the rest of this process ;)

Growing Up is Hard to Do........

I think I have become an adult and I am not at all sure that I like the idea! I have recently graduated college and moved far away from every one that I love in the attempt to climb the ever growing career ladder. I left the comfort of Tennessee for the booming economic promised land called Raleigh (Home to UNC, Duke and NC State). My fiance was lucky enough to snag a great job here in RTP but I, on the other hand, am having a constant stream of bad interviews and offers from jobs that I am clearly over qualified for. I know with the current economic downturn that everyone is facing a hard road but I never dreamed it would be so tough to find work after college. It is a reality that has hit me square in the face and I now know what it feels like to be "all grown up." Though my current job situation has caused my stomach ulcer to grow to a gargantuan size, there have been amazing revelations in my soul.

First, I have realized how dependant I am on the Lord and how I neglect my spiritual relationship with him while things are going good. I seem to be in an almost constant stream of prayer when I am in need of something (like a job) but seem to drift far away when everything is smooth sailing. I am now going to strive to be appreciative for the blessings in my life while things are going good, as well.

Second, I have realized my friends and family are so amazing. They have listened to me complain for hours and hours. They are never far away with words of encouragement and excitement. I could not make it through life without their support and I am grateful.

Lastly, I have learned not to take my job search so seriously. Jobs do not in any way define who we are or why we are here. I always thought I had to have the exact perfect job as soon as I finished school and it would be a job that I loved and kept forever. I have learned that is a big, big lie. Life is an ebb and flow. We are constantly growing and changing. The important thing to know about life is we need to take each experience and run with it. Learn all you can about what is happening right now at this moment. Learn from it and keep moving on. Life is a constant race and I am not sure if there even is a finish line. So from this experience that seemed to be so annoying, I have learned valuable life lessons and I am really thankful for that.